Underneath It All


Heavy. Like bricks.

The weight on my chest
Or, not so much on my chest,  but within my heart
Hot blood tracing my ventricles like a stencil
When I see it

A word
Some begotten photo
That begets an unwanted reminder
Of what was
Of you

You see, I do not miss you
Until, I do
I do not think of you
Until, I recall
I find ways to forget
Until, you appear
Wrapping myself in the cloak of my new life
Ever smiling
Clamoring off to new cities with new identities
This is the new me
Older and wiser
Prettier and bolder
But sometimes, cloak strings come loose
Hearts still beat, even when we will them to not
I am revealed
Bareboned, I am still the same me
Who once was loved by you

Lately, you visit me in my dreams
But spreading a warmth I haven’t known in some time
Gingerly, you sit beside me
And there is peace
And there is love