Scream

The world is crumbling.  I see it.  I see the slow cracks in everything. I see the dust of rubble falling at my feet. I see the ruins before the fire is even ablaze.  The rumble under the earth before a quake.

Everything feels strange.  Off.  Not quite right.

Do you ever feel like this?    Like your world is falling apart, and falling too quickly to repair but at the same time in slow motion?   Everything in your life is changing so quickly it feels foreign and yet so slowly that everything looks the same.

In your mind, you see yourself standing a the center of a vortex while a chaotic whirlwind of thoughts, ideas, possibilities, swirl around you and build a cloud of anxiety and stress over your head.  But the changes are so slow and minute  on the outside, no one notices.  But you notice and stand there as if in an alternate dimension, feeling disconnected from everything and everyone.  You wave your hand at your past, trying to clutch at old memories and habits of comfort only to find your hand is that of a ghosts, moving right through them and unable to grasp.  You can smell the change in the air like a sweet rain rolling in; feel the prickle on your skin as you can sense your life on the brink of morphing into something else.

Maybe it will shatter for the better, revealing something shiny and new.  Maybe it will lead you to a life better led.  Maybe it is destiny or maybe it is a direct result of all you desire, even subconsciously.

But right now it feels like life is simultaneously moving too quickly toward change and yet so slowly you want to scream.  And so you do.  You scream until your cheeks are pink and your lungs bereft.  But no one can hear you.

In this life, you realize, you are entirely alone.

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