Tonight, I Have a Party

Tonight I will be going to a party.  Since it’s a birthday, it happens annually…obviously.  But there is something substantially different about this party: it was this birthday party last year that changed the course of my life.  It was at this party that I had my first, first, kiss in over 7 years. 

I had been having the pesky, overwhelming feelings of marital doubts and the itch to get away, but this night was what sealed the deal.  It was the proverbial beginning of the end, as the things I felt in that kiss were things I hadn’t felt…well…in 7 years.  It confirmed my worst fears: that there was nothing in my marriage to resurrect, fix or recreate since, in fact, I never was *actually*  in love or even attracted to my husband. 

Therefore, it’s more than ironic that I just found this today in the back of my journal…written shortly thereafter the event….

Surely Stranger Things Have Happened

Surely stranger things have happened
Than the sudden change in tide

The burning
The yearning
For lips that are not mine

For the fresh innocence to mix with the rush of something illicit that leaves the stomach churning
Yet
Overtaken with butterflies, memories in time

Surely stranger things have happened
Than the hearts that race, the fingers that lace
Unexpectedly; Hesitantly

Never to be spoken of
Acknowledged
But all together unforgettable
Undeniable

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