He

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I will meet someone someday
He will be cute and fun; And I will laugh
My smile will light from within, as my broken heart is fixed like a dull bulb

He will be smart but not intimidating
He will make me want to be a better person, but make me feel ok as I am
He will love NPR and John Stewart but also not mind indulging me in my pop culture obsessions

We will go to to the farmers market and The Spectrum
He will not mind taking me to the movies, because he won’t mind anything that makes me happy

He will hold my hand and absentmindedly touch my back when we are walking
And this will not annoy or embarrass me; It will be welcomed
It will be electric and addicting

Clearly, he will love animals, my dogs, and will read books for fun
He will help with the housework and encourage my writing
We will fall into a familiar routine but work to keep passion and excitement alive

I will feel understood and loved and not embarrassed by him or my affections
I will be me, and he will be him and that will be enough; perfection need not apply
He will not criticize my choice of dress or drinking habits and love my friends
His simple presence will ease my anxiety, as I feel comfort in being me. In being enough

I will feel ultimately attractive around him, with no reservations about my body
I’ll no longer desire my implants or liposuction
He will love me as me, in my old flowered nightgowns and peaceful snoring and messy hair

Of course, he will love to travel, meet new people, see interesting things and try different foods; Sushi is a must
He will possess so much patience and teach me Spanish

Together we will make the world a better place
Together we will be partners and lovers
Having an unspoken language that only we can understand

Most importantly, I will feel for him all he feels for me.
My heart will be open again and I will feel the terrifying feeling of being in love with all of my being
I will feel confidence in knowing this love is worth the risk
I will watch romance movies and feel hope instead of hopelessness
I will not feel that moment of anxiety before I can change the station when an old love song comes on
The bitterness and skepticism will fade as it is eclipsed by the love that happens without cause or reason

I will laugh and sometimes cry, and surely he will make me scream, but before I know it, we will be back to us again

He will love and be loved and there will be hope for me after all.

 

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