As I surmise there are with most people. there is a primary list of people that once held a great deal of meaning in my life, and then in some way, or another, are no longer even involved or in touch with me. Some of these were relationships that were dramatically ended, while conversely, others drifted out, quietly fading into the background like childhood turning into adolescence. They were boyfriends, good friends, old friends, friends with crushes, friends with benefits. It’s a mix. But at the end of the day, the one thing they all have in common is a piece of my heart. Some days it strikes me with a a force greater than I care to admit, that I miss them. I wish I could call some of them, write them a letter, meet them for coffee. Ask all the unanswered questions. Apologize. Catch up.
Lately, as I have been doing some major evaluating of my life and my relationships, I’m being struck over and over reminders of those who are lost into the relationship purgatory that comes when you don’t resolve things. Hence this post and (accompanying series of posts). To (attempt) to help deal with and process this, I am writing, albeit abbreviated letters to them. It’s my way of making an amends without creating drama, opening old wounds and even needing new numbers or addresses.
Here’s hoping it’s cathartic.